One misty morning, our First Team Manager and general stalwart Roger Phillips (now 63 years old) was jogging around the first team pitch, slowly disappearing and reappearing as the mist thinned. He was being watched by the very attractive blonde, Laura (who cooks the players teas after the game)
Roger came into the club after his 200 metre marathon dripping in sweat when Laura asked him
'Roger, why do you run?'
To which roger replied
'Well my dear, I run to keep fit which allows me to run the touch line on Saturdays!'
Laura then replied
'Why bother Roger, you are going to DIE soon!'
I must say that Roger is probably as fit as most of the Players, if not fitter!
Name - Tracy Hendry
Occupation - CSA Dept (Players Wife)
Quote -
Tracy works at the CSA At Longbenton and one night at the Club she was having a conversation with some other women (that will have been exciting) one of the players asked her why women talked so much and she replied - 'Well, you see us women have an extra bone in our body which is very flexible'
When Tracy realised what she had said and all the guys had taken it the wrong way, she quipped ' Did I really say that!?!'
Player - John Johnson
Occupation - Civil Engineer
Position - Scrum Half
Quote - "Did you see that programme last night, these blokes were cutting these logs, well, they weren't logs, they were more like tree's with no branches !!!"
Bright Lad our Johnie
Player - Steve Hall
Occupation - Financial Advisor
Position - Fullback
Quote - "Was the domino that was pulled out of the bag, Four - One or One - Four"
Steve claims he was watching a football match at the time and he wanted to know if it was a home domino or an away domino. (We all believe you Steve!)
Name - Alison Walker
Occupation - Players ex-girlfriend
Position - Winger
Quote - While walking home after spending an afternoon around a pool on the island
of Corfu, limping somewhat after being stung by an irate wasp, Alison
remarked,
"I tell you what, that wasp has really hurt me...... it must of had huge
teeth!!!"
Player - John Johnson (Yes, it's our Johnie again!)
Occupation - Civil Engineer
Position - Scrum Half
To get the full effect of this quote, I'll give you some background detail to paint a picture and set the scene.........
While on tour in Amsterdam 1996, there was a group of lads sitting around in the hotel room, enjoying some of the more famous 'buds' of Holland!
We were all pretty drunk (What's new), anyway, David Little (another Scrum Half) got up and went into the bathroom to clean his teeth while standing in front of the mirror.
Darren Cunningham was sitting on the floor, looking into the bathroom, and the rest of the lads had their backs to the bathroom. Darren noticed a bathroom mat under Dave's feet which he hadn't noticed before, so he shouted "Davy, I've never noticed before, but is that a mat?"
Immediately Johnie Johnson looked over his shoulder at the door frame and remarked, "No, I think its Gloss"!!!
Name - Sharon Stafford
Position - Players wife (Nicky Stafford's wife)
Quote - Nicky and his wife both work in the same factory in Blyth, Northumberland.
They have about 2 miles to walk home each night.
One summer evening, while walking home from work with his wife, Nicky said, "Do you think you'd be able to guide me all the way home, if I shut my eyes and make on I'm blind." Sharon replied, "No problem"........ So, Nicky closed his eyes and began to listen to his wife's instructions, about 200 yards down the street Nicky began to get nervous and was feeling out in front of himself, making himself look rather stupid. There was lots of cars driving past and people in them wondering what on earth Nicky was up to, Sharon shouted at Nicky, "Nicholas, stop that ! There may be a blind person driving past and he'll see you!!"
Bright girl?, well she proved that when she married Nicky
Name - John Johnson
Occupation - Civil Engineer
Position - Scrum Half
Yes, it's thick Johnny again !!!
Quote - During Saturday's game v's Penrith RFC, it was a very cold and wet day, we all were freezing standing out in the backs. Later in the game, the rain stopped and the wind dropped, Johnny turned and looked at the rest of the backs and said, "Is it getting warmer, or is it just not as cold ? !!!!!!!!!!
Name - Richard Sparks
Occupation - ???????
Position - Prop forward
Quote - Whilst travelling to Penrith RFC on Sat. 17th Oct 98, we were all sitting chatting at the back of the bus, when Richard turned to me and said, "Hey, I'm a fully qualified bricklayer now, I got my tradesman certificate the other day, .... now all I need to do is learn how to build corners.!!!!!!"
Build Ricky, build.
Name - David Little
Occupation - Factory Supervisor
Position - Scrum Half
Quote - While on tour in Orlando, Florida 1998, David and numerous other players on tour were walking along International Drive on route to the Cricketers Arms in the Mercado Centre, we were all discussing the fact that none of the American girls wanted anything to do with us, as soon as they heard that we were English, David then said, "Well, if that's the case, from now on I'm going to talk to them with an American accent, I'll just go up to them and say, G'day !!!!!!!!!!"
Obviously Dave was a little confused as he must have thought we were in Australia (Probably too much Beer!)
Name - Kirsty Cunningham
Position - Players wife
Occupation - Financial Analyst
Darren was telling Kirsty the other night that he may have to go to China for a few weeks and that one of his work colleagues had told him that he would probably be served "boiled dog" among other things for dinner. So, he said," if I come back barking allot you'll know why" , and Kirsty replied, "Why would you be barking?, you don't start quacking after you've ate chicken"!!!
An interesting point of view!
