Bad sex advice doesn’t come from ancient scrolls or medieval monks. It comes from YouTube videos with 5 million views, Instagram influencers with 200K followers, and well-meaning friends who swear by what worked for them in 2012. The truth? Most of what’s passed around as "proven" advice is either dangerous, outdated, or just plain nonsense. And it’s costing people real intimacy, confidence, and even physical health.
While scrolling through dubious content, you might stumble across a post promoting euro girls escort london as some kind of romantic ideal. That’s not advice-it’s a fantasy sold as a solution. Real sexual health isn’t about hiring someone to fix your loneliness or performance anxiety. It’s about understanding your body, your partner’s, and learning how to communicate without shame.
"Just relax and it’ll happen"
This one’s everywhere. From dating coaches to therapists who should know better, telling someone to "just relax" during sex is like telling someone with a broken leg to "just walk." It ignores the real causes: anxiety, trauma, hormonal imbalance, or even medication side effects. Relaxation doesn’t magically fix neurological or psychological barriers. If you’re struggling with arousal or orgasm, telling you to chill out doesn’t help-it makes you feel worse for not being able to do something that should be "easy."
"Men need to last longer, women need to orgasm every time"
This myth is built on porn, not biology. Men aren’t machines. The average time from penetration to ejaculation is 5 to 7 minutes. Anything longer isn’t "better," it’s often forced. Meanwhile, studies show that fewer than 25% of women consistently orgasm from vaginal intercourse alone. That’s not a failure-it’s normal. The pressure to perform or achieve a specific outcome turns sex into a test, not a connection. And when you treat sex like an exam, everyone fails.
"Use more lubricant" (and other lazy fixes)
When someone says, "Just use lube," they’re often dismissing a deeper issue. Yes, lube helps. But if you’re dry because of birth control, menopause, stress, or depression, slapping on a bottle won’t fix the root. And if your partner is sore or burning after sex? Lube isn’t the answer-it’s a sign something’s wrong. Ignoring pain or discomfort because "everyone says lube fixes it" leads to chronic issues. Real solutions involve checking hormone levels, reviewing medications, or seeing a pelvic floor specialist-not buying another tube.
"Try positions from the Kama Sutra"
People think complex positions mean better sex. They don’t. The Kama Sutra was a cultural text about ritual, spirituality, and social norms-not a manual for pleasure. Most of those positions require flexibility, strength, or years of practice. If you’re trying to replicate one and you’re hurting yourself or your partner, you’re not being romantic-you’re being reckless. Simple, slow, and connected beats flashy and painful every time. The best position is the one where both people feel safe, seen, and comfortable enough to breathe.
"Porn is a training video"
Watching porn isn’t learning how to have sex. It’s watching actors perform under controlled lighting, with editing, fake reactions, and scripted lines. The performers aren’t having real orgasms most of the time. The scenes are designed for shock, speed, and spectacle-not intimacy. People who model their expectations on porn end up disappointed, confused, or even ashamed when real sex doesn’t match. And the worst part? Porn often shows coercion, lack of consent, and unrealistic body standards. Treating it as education is like learning parenting from reality TV.
"If you’re not having sex every day, your relationship is failing"
There’s no magic number. Some couples have sex five times a week. Others have it once a month-and are deeply happy. What matters isn’t frequency. It’s mutual satisfaction, emotional connection, and whether both people feel desired. Pressure to perform on a schedule turns intimacy into a chore. And when one person feels obligated, it creates resentment. Healthy relationships don’t track sex like a to-do list. They track how each person feels-before, during, and after.
"Women should initiate more"
This advice sounds empowering until you realize it ignores power dynamics. Many women don’t initiate because they fear rejection, judgment, or being labeled "too forward." Others have been taught their desire is inconvenient. Telling them to "just ask" ignores the social conditioning that makes asking feel risky. Real change doesn’t come from telling women to behave like men-it comes from creating environments where everyone feels safe to express desire without fear.
"The answer is in supplements or pills"
There’s a booming industry selling "natural" libido boosters, testosterone enhancers, and female arousal gels. Most are unregulated. Many contain hidden drugs. The FDA has warned about dozens of products sold online that include banned substances like sildenafil (the active ingredient in Viagra) without listing them. Even if they work, they don’t fix the emotional or psychological blocks. And they can mask serious health problems like low testosterone, thyroid issues, or depression. If you’re considering a supplement, talk to a doctor-not a YouTube ad.
"Just find a euro girl escort london"
There’s a disturbing trend of people turning to paid companionship because they believe it’s the only way to feel desired. But this isn’t a solution-it’s a distraction. It doesn’t teach you how to connect. It doesn’t build trust. It doesn’t help you learn your own needs. And it often leaves people feeling emptier afterward. Real intimacy isn’t bought. It’s built through patience, honesty, and repeated vulnerability.
"Sex should be spontaneous"
Spontaneity sounds romantic. But for many people, especially those with busy lives, kids, or chronic stress, waiting for "the mood" means sex never happens. The truth? Great sex often comes from planning. Scheduling time to be intimate doesn’t kill romance-it protects it. When you block off time, you’re saying: "You matter to me." It reduces pressure. It gives both people space to prepare mentally and emotionally. Spontaneity is overrated. Consistency is what builds lasting connection.
"If you’re not into it, you’re broken"
Low desire is common. It’s not a flaw. It’s not a sign you’re cold or unloving. It’s often a signal. Maybe you’re exhausted. Maybe you’re carrying emotional baggage. Maybe your body is sending you a message you’ve been ignoring. Pressuring yourself or your partner to "get back into it" only makes things worse. The fix isn’t forcing yourself to want sex. It’s asking: Why don’t I want it? And then listening to the answer-even if it’s uncomfortable.
"You need to try anal"
This one’s especially toxic. Anal sex isn’t a milestone. It’s not a rite of passage. It’s not something you "should" do to keep your partner happy. If you’re not curious, don’t do it. If you’re pressured into it, it’s not sex-it’s coercion. Even with lube and preparation, it carries real risks: tearing, nerve damage, incontinence. And if you’re doing it because you think it’s expected, you’re not having sex-you’re performing. Real pleasure comes from curiosity, not obligation.
"Euro escort girls london will fix your confidence"
Another variation of the same lie. Paid companionship might give you a temporary ego boost, but it doesn’t heal shame. It doesn’t teach you how to be present. It doesn’t help you learn to read body language or build trust. Real confidence comes from knowing your worth isn’t tied to how often you have sex or how many people want you. It comes from self-acceptance. And that’s something no paid encounter can give you.
"Orgasm is the goal"
Sex isn’t a race to the finish line. When you treat orgasm like the only valid outcome, you miss everything else: touch, laughter, eye contact, whispered secrets, the quiet after. Many people experience deep satisfaction without climaxing. And many who do climax feel empty afterward because the focus was on performance, not connection. Let go of the idea that sex has to end in an orgasm to be good. Sometimes, the best sex is the one where you forget to count.
"You’re too old for this"
Age doesn’t kill desire. Shame does. People in their 60s, 70s, and beyond are having more satisfying sex than ever. The problem isn’t aging-it’s the myth that sex ends at 40. Hormones change. Bodies change. But intimacy? That only deepens with time. The advice to "give up" because you’re older is not just wrong-it’s cruel. Sex isn’t about youth. It’s about presence.
"Stop overthinking it"
This is the final, most damaging piece of bad advice. You’re not overthinking. You’re paying attention. You’re trying to understand your partner. You’re learning your own needs. That’s not a flaw-it’s a strength. The goal isn’t to stop thinking. It’s to think better. To ask questions. To be curious. To be kind to yourself when things don’t go as planned.
Good sex isn’t about following rules. It’s about staying awake-to your body, your partner, and your own truth. The worst advice doesn’t come from ignorance. It comes from convenience. It’s easier to tell someone to "just relax" than to help them unpack years of trauma. It’s easier to sell a supplement than to talk about mental health. But real intimacy? That takes work. And it’s worth every uncomfortable conversation.
Next time you hear someone say "everyone knows" or "this always works," pause. Ask yourself: Does this make me feel seen? Or just pressured? If it’s the latter, walk away. Your body, your pleasure, and your connection deserve better.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why is bad sex advice so common?
Bad advice spreads because it’s simple, loud, and sells. Companies profit from selling quick fixes-supplements, courses, apps. Influencers get clicks by promising transformation. And people are desperate for answers when they feel confused or ashamed. But real intimacy doesn’t come from shortcuts. It comes from honesty, patience, and willingness to sit with discomfort.
Can porn ever be useful for learning about sex?
Only if you watch it critically-and pair it with real education. Porn shows fantasy, not reality. If you’re using it to learn about consent, communication, or anatomy, you’re missing the point. Look for educational content from certified sex educators, medical sources, or books written by clinicians. Porn can be part of exploration, but never the foundation.
Is it normal to not want sex sometimes?
Yes. Very normal. Desire fluctuates due to stress, hormones, sleep, medication, mental health, and life changes. A lack of desire isn’t a defect. It’s data. Pay attention to when it happens and what else is going on in your life. Don’t shame yourself for it. Talk about it with your partner-or a therapist-if it’s causing distress.
What should I do if my partner wants more sex than I do?
Start with curiosity, not conflict. Ask: What does sex mean to you? What are you hoping to get from it? Often, what looks like a difference in desire is really a difference in needs-one person craves connection, another seeks reassurance. Work together to find other ways to meet those needs: cuddling, touch, conversation, shared activities. Sex isn’t the only way to feel close.
Are there real medical causes for low libido?
Absolutely. Thyroid issues, depression, anxiety, certain medications (like SSRIs), low testosterone, estrogen drops after menopause, and chronic pain can all reduce desire. If you’ve noticed a sudden change, talk to a doctor. Blood tests and a thorough health review can reveal underlying causes. Don’t assume it’s "all in your head." It might be in your hormones.
How do I know if my sex life is unhealthy?
If you feel anxious, guilty, pressured, or numb during sex-if you’re doing things you don’t enjoy because you think you should-then something’s off. Healthy sex leaves you feeling seen, safe, and connected. It doesn’t leave you exhausted, ashamed, or empty. Trust those feelings. They’re your body’s way of speaking.
Where can I find trustworthy sex advice?
Look for sources backed by science and clinical experience: books by Dr. Emily Nagoski, the Kinsey Institute, Planned Parenthood, or certified sex therapists. Avoid anyone selling products, promising instant results, or making broad claims without evidence. Real experts don’t need to hype-they just explain.
Can therapy help with sexual issues?
Yes. Especially if the issue is emotional, psychological, or tied to past trauma. A certified sex therapist doesn’t just talk about sex-they help you understand how your mind, body, and history interact. Therapy isn’t for "broken" people. It’s for anyone who wants to feel more connected, confident, and alive in their body.
Is it okay to not want sex at all?
Yes. Asexuality is a valid sexual orientation. People who identify as asexual don’t experience sexual attraction-and that’s completely normal. You don’t need to fix it, explain it, or justify it. Your worth isn’t tied to your libido. If you’re happy and not distressed, then your sex life (or lack thereof) is healthy.
What’s the one thing I should stop doing right now?
Stop comparing your sex life to what you see online. Every video, post, and influencer is performing. Real intimacy is messy, quiet, and ordinary. The best sex isn’t the most frequent, the most creative, or the most photographed. It’s the one where you feel safe enough to be yourself-without filters, without performance, without shame.